Image building. Reputation management. Digital footprint maintenance.
Welcome to dating in the new millennium!
Savvy daters understand the importance of developing their personal brands. Desirable brands go on dates; undesirable brands don't go anywhere. To aid in these efforts, single guys and gals are enlisting the help of dating consultants and wingwomen. These "dating publicists" perform the essential functions of PR professionals.
pubLIZity micro-interviewed Laurie Davis, Founder & CEO of eFlirt Expert, an online dating consulting agency, and Courtney Crosslin, a WingWoman and Date Coach at haveAwonderful. While Davis's crew of certified eFlirters provides clients with online profile makeovers and ghostwritten email & social media replies, Crosslin facilitates offline social introductions and offers "real life" image consultations.
*eFlirt Expert and haveAwonderful are essentially PR firms. Why are dating publicists necessary?
I usually think of it more as internet marketing for singles, since we use similar principles. We take into account things like your target audience, time to conversion, keywords, etc. When you date online, your first impression happens virtually. And if you don’t meet your matches’ expectations, you could end up with an empty inbox. So, making sure you put your best pixel forward is the first step to finding a lasting log-off with a mate.
Single people can experience great scrutiny. WingWomen are merely alter egos.
*Which services are consistently most beneficial to daters? Which services aren’t in demand, but should be? Why?
The three most popular services are the eMakeover, Profile From Scratch and eMix. The first two are based on profile writing, and the eMix gives singles a bit more support including the profile but also ghostwritten emails, wardrobe review and coaching via email. Our DM [direct message] & @reply me service could definitely be an asset to more daters. I think people don’t instinctively think of flirting on Twitter, but it can be very affective. In fact, I met my fiancé over DM!
Individuals are a bit more hesitant to try Image Consulting. I think there is a fear of honest feedback. However, image is important. The most beneficial service is a 1-on-1 consultation. There are no 1 size fits all solutions. Coaches need to know the individual.
*eFlirt Expert’s Digital Lifestyle pkg. includes tidying up one’s digital footprint. Describe an incident when a client’s DF created a crisis. Resolution?
One client was both an executive and a DJ – as you can imagine that sends conflicting messages not only to matches that Facebook friend him, but to the web in general too! It was important to him that his personas remain separate and that each social media platform be dedicated to one or the other. Many of us have different Google-able occupations, but for women looking for a date, that can be confusing – a Google search of him would pull up conflicting results, which would ultimately make them question his honesty. We found subtle ways in both profiles to reference the other profession without being specific or overt so the identities were kept exclusive of one another, but it was clear there was no deception happening.
What's your WingWoman approach for introducing clients to other singles? Is there a typical WingWoman pitch?
It depends on a client's likes. 1st We take time to really get to know each client & their tastes in a desired partner. 2nd we select appropriate outing locations. If a client likes/wants an artsy type, we might plan an outing to a gallery showing (not a sports bar). 3rd step is "Spotting." Once we've "spotted" a potential match, we decide on an approach (starting conversation about event, etc.) or open w/compliments. Last is "The Intro" after the ice has been broken (& we uncover some important info like single or not), the WingWoman introduces client.
How do you manage the expectations of clients seeking instant and/or unrealistic results? What percentage of clients achieves dating success?
We’re very honest with clients from the start. Online dating is an amazing tool for your dating life because you get the opportunity to meet potentials you wouldn’t otherwise come across, but that does not mean you’ll meet the love of your life tomorrow. You might, but it’s unlikely. We encourage our clients to focus less on the quantity of matches in their inbox and more on the quality of people they are meeting – unless, of course, their intention is to date casually. This keeps their expectations honest. I’m not familiar with an industry-wide stat on online dating “success”, particularly since different daters have different goals and therefore different ideas of success. But in terms of our profiles, we’ve had 100% success since we work with each client until they’re satisfied.
Interestingly enough, we don't get clients w/unrealistic expectations. Again, we're not about numbers, but about custom techniques. If someone came to us who had a number, they would not be a client we'd take on. We're about teaching people how to find their #MoJo.
*Some might say that you allow singles to project false/manufactured images (a type of PR spin) to the dating community. Response?
We help singles create their online image, but it’s still completely authentic. Everything in their profile, photos and emails comes from them – in some cases, we even use their very own words. It’s important never to fabricate things – if you don’t project an accurate image of yourself, you won’t attract the right match. However, it’s also incredibly difficult to write about yourself. Having our outside perspective means a profile becomes much more true to the person you’re going to meet for the first time offline – because we use our first impression of the client to craft their digital self.
Great question! I would inform them that both men & women use our service. We are not about deceit (like projecting a false image). People come to us because they struggle w/the basics (like flirting, conversing, etc.) They're people w/big hearts & good intentions.
Liz - This is great! We thank you for the opportunity.
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